I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
