it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
