i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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