Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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