I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
