Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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