i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
