That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
