you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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