I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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