Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
