Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
