Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
