More tranny stories later!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
where are my eyebrows?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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