cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
