i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
