dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Princesses don't give blow jobs
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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