Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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