Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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