I'd wear matching sweaters with you
her vagine was all disorganized.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
