he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you inspire me to be a worse person
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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