I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
