I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
