Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
