We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
