I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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