We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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