Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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