Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
