im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
