Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
