I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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