Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
