come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
