we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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