the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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