Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
