wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
