GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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