Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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