You can't motorboat a personality
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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