I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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