Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
