Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
