So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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