i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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