Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
