So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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