forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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