He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
